BETWEEN DIGNITY AND DESPERATION

I'm hiding from the Mexican heat and what seems like a never-ending threat of the Corona Virus pandemic, like most ther cautious people these days. Staying inside more, gives you a lot of time to think...about a whole lot of things. Like, how single women over 50 may sometimes be making an unconscious choice between dignity and desperation when it comes to their relationships or (non-existent relationships) with men. People give you that side-eye look with the crooked smile, when you're "uncoupled" in late mid-life. While I've never been enrolled in the school of 'any man is better than no man', some women have found themselves in a quandary about settling, so that they don't wind up old and alone. With cats! Being single 'by choice' is the new moniker being used to shut nosy folks down before they decide to give you relationship advice or attempt to play matchmaker for some dude that they think is lonely just like you. Are women pressured into setting their standards aside to open up the doors to just a warm body to keep company with? Is it worth having to grin and bear more than they want and a lot less than they deserve? Often a private question is asked in the mirror, "How long do you wait?" More importantly, at what point does dignity slowly fade into desperation without realizing it?

Dyme Does Latin America !...#2

Okay, so I find a one-way ticket back to the US from Costa Rica for about $100 with the help of my son...problem solved.

Still didn't know where I was gonna stay, though. At the last minute, I decide to rent a room from a couple in the San Jose area. I'd found their ad on Craigslist the week before I left. Who goes and lives with complete strangers on Craigslist?...Me, of course. And I say, I'm not a gambler.

Dyme Does Latin America ! #1

Yeah, I'm leavin'...Yeah, really! I'm just waitin' on this last birdie to leave the nest, and I'm gone !

Let me bring it up to speed...

Okay so, graduation is over. The last birdie, my 18 year old daughter Erisse is on her way to college. I'd been telling people that I was gonna leave the US, as soon my last child finished high school. I've sold everything in my house and moved out. All I couldn't sell, I gave away or locked up in my small storage unit that I've been paying $35 a month for, for the past three years. After staying with my smoking neurotic sister for over a week, I couldn't take it anymore. Enough money or not! I was willing to hop a bus to Mexico with a backpack to get the heck out of there. Mississippi was suppose to be a hit and run, not an almost six year commitment.

Even the Lord saw it was too much, and soon I might start taking some hostages. Don't ask who...hell, anybody! I'm now a middle-aged diva without a house or her stuff. It could get real serious at this point.

The Lord took pity. I booked a one-way ticket to San Jose, Costa Rica...couldn't afford the current round-trip prices and refused to pay them. Who cares, anyway...I wasn't planning on coming back anytime soon.

Problem....Costa Rican Immigration and the US State Department says you gotta show a ticket leaving out of Costa Rica. Damn...If it ain't always something !

SPIDER'S WEB...Script excerpt

INT: RECORDING STUDIO - LATE AFTERNOON

Spider saunters in. We hear RANTING, as he makes his way over to Recording Studio 5. WES PIERSON, mid-20s, A & R rep for the label, is trying to calm his artist; HEIRESS, a vanilla pint-sized pop diva, on the edge. Heiress spots Spider standing near the soundroom entrance.

HEIRESS (to Wes)

Oh, now you can get outta my face.

(pointing)
You need to straighten this out, Spider!

WES
(to Spider)
Good. You talk to her.

Wes walks off.
SPIDER
(to Heiress)
Let's talk.

Spider takes Heiress aside.
SPIDER
(continuing)
What's goin' on, Heiress ? You're making everybody crazy down here.

She paces, hands on her hips, agitated.

HEIRESS
What's goin' on here, is that the gotdamn back-up singers are singin' off key. That's what's goin' on here !

Spider looks across quickly, then sighs.

SPIDER
All right. Who do you think is singin' off key ?

HEIRESS
(louder)
What do you mean THINK ? I won a gotdamn Grammy ! Don't you think I KNOW when somebody's fuckin' singin' off key ?...Gotdammit!

SPIDER
Calm down! I don't have time for this shit today, Heiress.
You're costing us studio time. I don't do this kinda shit anymore.
Just tell me who's off key, alright ?!

Heiress looks across to the singers, venomously. Finds her target.

HEIRESS
Gail!

SPIDER
Gail Mason ? Cut the shit, Heiress. Gail's one of the best in the business.

HEIRESS
Well, she sings like she's got a crow up her ass.

SPIDER
You familiar with the sound, sweetheart ?

Her eyes burn through him like acid.

HEIRESS
OH!...So the asshole's got jokes ?!

Stupid Relatives Wanted!

C’mon...We can all think of at least a couple. Well, here’s your chance to get back at the one who stiffed you for that 300 smackers, bet your rent money on a cockroach race...or sent your beloved kitty to the vet intoxicated, because “he looked thirsty”.

Or….maybe YOU are the family idiot. ‘Fess up….what’d you do?

Send in your submissions of ridiculous acts committed by the kin folks. (Don't worry...Their full names will not be used in the book, nor yours, so don’t stress about the inheritance).

Hurry, before the next family reunion!!

Attn: Relatively Stupid

E-mail your submissions to: stupidrelatives@yahoo.com

Still Here...

Stay tuned...It's been a long time, but I'll be back.

Promise!

Cougar VS. The Kitten.....

Cougars...Is the term being used for beautiful, wealthy, older women who date younger men. Normally, these are 40+ women who have decided that what older men have been doing for centuries with younger women...they can do better. The men they date can be as much as twenty years younger, and yes, totally fine. Gigolos?...That would be the first thought that comes to mind, but these guys say they're in it for the real thing. Yeah. They say that a relationship with an older woman is a welcome change to the younger women they're used to dating. They say that maturity and security are the positives to dating a Cougar. Older women don't have toddlers that they're looking for a baby's daddy. They're not still working their way through school, sleeping their way through the clubs, looking for a man to take care of them, or take them to the mall. These women are strong and have already been where a younger woman may still be trying to get to. They provide stimulating conversation absent of the superficial, and are rediscovering 'fun'. And of course...there's the sexual prowess of an experienced older woman! With the shortage of eligible men in a particular age group, economic status, or even mental capacity, older women are finding that they're having to make some changes to their "lists" or the one that society deems suitable for them. So, are they stealing from the Kittens? They'll get over it. After all, they've got youth...and old coots willing to be their "Sugar Daddys". Let me hear your thoughts or whether you have a preference.